My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize