Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
