Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
