T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
