Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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