he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
