a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
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