I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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