hotel room ftw
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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