Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Still dying that you shit outside
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
