if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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