Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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