i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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