I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
even my farts smell like vagina
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize