just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
