we have pet lesbian snakes
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
