I wanna passion pit in your ass
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
