his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
