I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
