maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
