I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
