thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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