i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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