I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
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