their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
