I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
