Will you blow on my dice?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize