god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
