my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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