I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize