Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize