the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
