dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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