Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
