just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
