fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
