Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was confusing and full of hummus
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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