i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
