Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
