I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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