If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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