the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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