It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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