You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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