and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize