Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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