East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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