Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
