U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
