I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
