I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
