i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
