I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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