distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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