Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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