we're chasing vodka with high fives
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
