You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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