dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's rum buckets o'clock
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
