i jhust puked up my retainher.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
