if you like me you must not know who I am
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
