i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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