no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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